T O P_ 5

Difficult to Remember Presidents of the U.S. >> August B 2007

If I were given a test to name all the presidents in order these are the ones I would most likely forget for one reason or another probably not related to much to their accomplishments but more to the phonetics of their names. Who could forget Calvin Coolidge, Herbert Hoover, and Woodrow Wilson after all? But the name "Benjamin Harrison" is so bland sounding or confusing with Ben Franklin. Benjamin Harrison was short too. What does that say about how my brain works? Nothing much. Grover Cleveland. Now there's somebody with a made-up sounding name. Plus Grover married some 21 year old hottie named Frances when he was almost 50. I actually don't know if she was hot or not. I should look that up. Anyway you get my point that why I remember which president is which has only a very little bit to do with their overall historical contribution.

1) Benjamin Harrison (23rd) - Why can't I remember this guy? Maybe because he was wedged between Grover Cleveland's terms on both sides (before and after). And did I mention he was short? Oh and to make matters more confusing there was his granpappy, William Henry Harrison, also forgettable b/c he died after only a month in office.

2) Warren G. (Gamaliel) Harding (29th) - After looking this guy up apparently he sucked as president. So maybe there is some logical connection or usefulness to my lacking memory after all. Also, he died in office. Now I feel bad saying that he sucked. He originated the phrase "Whattup G?". That's false. FALSE!

3) Millard Fillmore - (13th) Sounds like a porn name for dorks. OK, besides that what do I have against the guy? He was born poor? Ah no. He did marry his teacher. Enh (shrug). As VP he suddenly became president when Zachary Taylor mysteriously croaked. Yes! All right, so his term was relatively interesting as far as terms go. He was the saving grace of the Compromise of 1850. There was all sorts of debatin' and stuff over California, Texas, New Mexico, and ... oh yes....some slavery issues--nothing that wouldn't crop up later (cough civil cough war cough). Excuse me. He was the last Whig Party President. He later joined the Know Nothing Party and lost the next election which was a bad party name indeed, context or no.

4) Andrew Johnson (17th) - Not Andrew Jackson but Andrew Johnson. But not LBJ either. Oh it's confusing. He became prez after Abe was assassinated. AJ was the first president to be impeached. He was barely acquitted. He grew up in poverty and his dad died when he was 3. No wonder he looks particularly bitter and morose in all his portraits. He granted unconditional Amnesty to all confederates on Christmas Day 1868.

5) Rutherford B. (Birchard) Hayes (19th) - His claim to fame is that he won the presidency by the smidgiest smidge. He beat out some guy named Samuel Tilden who won the popular vote. Annoyingly familiar story. I guess there's not much to note otherwise. Oh except maybe he's a hero in Paraguay. And he had to deal with the Great Railroad Strike of 1877, which federal troops settled the matter by killing a bunch of rioters and/or strikers.


Like, OMG! Why are they all prime number presidents? hmmm... maybe that's why I can't remember. These presidents are not divisible except against themselves and the number one. Eureka! But what is the significance?





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